the Man in the Monster
by Lucinda
Summary: AU post season 5, crossover with Blade. Willow tries for love again, this time with Deacon Frost. QPC response for late Feb.


the Man in the Monster  
  
author: Lucinda  
  
rating: pg 13  
  
pairing: Willow/Deacon Frost ( QPC #125), Vanessa/Deacon Frost   
  
the QPC site: http://quickie.moonlightpaths.com  
  
QPC Theme for February (from 16th to 28th): Heartache, cheating, breaking up, make-up PWP, divorce.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or from Blade.  
  
Distribution: WLS, QPC, WWW, Bite Me, Serena, Twisting the Hellmouth anyone else just ask.  
  
note: AU post season 5. Tara couldn't handle everything and split. After Buffy's swan dive, Willow left Sunnydale.  
  
She'd met him by chance, searching for something in the dusty back room of the New York library. A lean man in a dark outfit on the edge of style, short hair swept back, handsome features that made her insides flutter. He'd been bent over a fragile looking old text on a papyrus scroll, scowling at one of the characters and muttering horrible ill wishes on the person who'd wrote the text and his descendants to the seventh generation.  
  
"I think it's probably a bit late, wouldn't the scribe already be dead? Along with his descendants for a lot of generations?" She hadn't quite been able to stay silent, even though she didn't know him.  
  
He'd looked up, and there had been something in his eyes, some spark that had told her he was a hunter, a predator. "Most likely. But it's frustrating me... don't suppose you happen to know anything about ancient Mesopotamian cuneiform?"  
  
Part of her had insisted that she should leave now, that vampires were trouble. Instead, she found herself walking over, looking at the scroll. "It's Babylonian... and I have no idea how to pronounce any of it. But this is talking about... hmm, some sort of blood god, and a ritual to draw upon... no, to cause someone to be a vessel for the presence of the god. Ick, blood sacrifice, something about pure souls... pure-blood souls?"  
  
He was looking at her in amazement, and something else, something that she couldn't quite decipher. "How did you read that? How did you know what it said so quickly?"  
  
She felt herself blushing. "Ummm Willow Rosenberg, and I'm half way through a degree in ancient languages. I had a really knowledgeable mentor..."  
  
He'd grinned, and kissed her fingertips. "Deacon Frost. I have... sort of an interest in this. Any idea what's supposed to happen if the ritual goes through? Since this makes sense to you, and in one minute, you've read three times as much as I have in four hours."  
  
She'd looked back to the scroll, frowning as she read. "Looks like the blood god would possess the body of the vessel, something about you can tell by looking into the eyes, but it doesn't say what about the eyes... umm... take form in the vessel of power... It sounds like if this ritual happened, there would be the bodies of the sacrifices, and then the blood god would be in the vessel... and the vessel's original self, the person that they were, would be gone. The body would be there, but the thing that made them, well, them self would be gone, on to whatever happens to departed souls."  
  
He'd smiled, as if trying to look as if he was teasing. "So, I wouldn't want to do this ritual then?"  
  
She'd looked back, her words utterly serious. "Not if you like being Deacon Frost. Do that, and there wouldn't be Deacon Frost anymore, just the vessel of... how is this pronounced anyhow? But just the vessel of the blood god."  
  
"Lamagra. His name is Lamagra." His voice was low, as if he was deep in memory.  
  
That had been how she'd met him. She wasn't quite sure why she'd agreed to go out with him, how her sense of self preservation and distrust of dating had been overpowered enough to give him a chance. But she had agreed, and he'd slipped into her heart.  
  
Deacon had been rather unsettled by the simple fact that she'd known he was a vampire, but she hadn't explained in any detail. She'd merely said that he wasn't the first vampire she'd encountered, and left it at that. He'd been afraid that she'd look at him and see a monster instead of a man.  
  
He was quite the man, though. Handsome, intelligent, with an amazing education and charm... sometimes it was difficult for Willow to remember that he wasn't human. Until she would look into his eyes and see time reflected back. He'd never really been a monster to her.  
  
She'd decided to surprise him, to be there tonight when he woke up, to tell him that she'd fallen in love with him. To hope that he wouldn't laugh. It had been entirely to easy to use a few computer records to find his house, and even simpler to gain access... a minor spell here, a tiny blurring of awareness there, and she was inside the building. A long elevator trip, more than long enough for her to debate the wisdom of dropping in unannounced on her vampire, and she was there.  
  
Another small spell unlocked the door, and she was inside his apartment, a place that almost screamed 'in' and 'stylish'. He had a small pool with a cascading waterfall on his floor, for heaven's sake! There was a small noise, like fabric shifting over fabric, and a faint motor noise from the right, and she moved that way. Willow had an odd knot in her stomach, as if there was going to be something terrible.  
  
There was a doorway to what looked to be a bedroom, and a graceful dark woman stood there, dressed in something long and sheer and elegant. She'd just emerged from what looked almost like a very high tech box that stood where a bed would be. It was huge, and Willow looked at it, wondering if it was supposed to be a high tech coffin.  
  
Deacon was there, his face relaxed in slumber, his body positioned in such a way that she KNEW he'd been curled around the woman. At least this time, she wasn't walking in on naked people. A small noise escaped from her, something like a smothered whimper.  
  
The dark woman turned, looking at her in surprise. "You must be Willow... I didn't expect you to be here. Deacon's mentioned you. I'm Vanessa."  
  
A tiny part of Willow's mind noted that the woman carried herself and moved like a dancer. Another part was trying to figure out why Vanessa was being so polite. "You're... his childe? I wish... he hadn't mentioned you. It looks like there's a lot he didn't bother to mention to me. I shouldn't have come here...." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, hot and burning.  
  
She had almost made it to the door when a cool hand on her elbow made her pause. Vanessa stood there, her dark eyes puzzled. "What's the matter?"   
  
Willow gave a bitter smile. "I saw him in that... bed where you were. You were both in there. I just thought that maybe, for once, I could be enough for someone. But if he's sleeping with someone as pretty as you are... it's obvious that I'm not enough for him. Tell him goodbye for me?"  
  
Vanessa stood there while she left, not trying to influence Willow's choice. Perhaps she didn't want to, perhaps she wanted her Sire to herself. Perhaps she understood the pain of heartache. It didn't really matter why as Willow left, tears blurring her vision.  
  
Willow stayed in her apartment for a while, crying and throwing pillows and putting all the pictures and gifts from Deacon into a cardboard box, not quite willing to throw them away, but hurting too much to see them. Just once, why couldn't she be enough? She hadn't been curvy enough for Xander to notice, not popular enough for Percy, not wolfy enough for Oz, and apparently, not enough for Deacon either. She didn't call him, and let his calls go unanswered, simply recordings on her machine.  
  
Perhaps it was the whim of fate that he found her in the library. He looked the same, coolly handsome, not quite polished but oh so fashionable. He looked at her, his eyes dark with something. "Willow? Why have you been ignoring me? What's wrong?"  
  
She hadn't been able to resist the small, pained noise. "I wanted to surprise you, drop in and be there when you woke up. Turns out I was the one surprised. Vanessa is very pretty, and she said you'd had good things to say about me. Made me feel a bit awkward that I hadn't known about her. I just don't understand, Deacon. I'd told you about Oz, about the pain he put me through. The only improvement that I can see is that the two of you weren't naked."  
  
"I didn't think you saw me as a monster, Willow. Why are you running away?" His voice was low, and almost made her will melt away.  
  
She looked at him, tears blurring his image again. "I'm not running from the monster in you, Deacon. I'm running from the man. The man that I'm not enough for. I won't settle for part of you, and since that's all you're willing to offer, I can't stay. Goodbye, Deacon. I wish I'd been enough, but I wasn't."  
  
This time, he just let her walk away.  
  
end Man in the Monster. 


End file.
